雅思帮忙改小作文~Thischart illustrates the different choices of accommodation in Evonia among threeage group 17 years old to over 46 years old. In theage between 17 and 19, people are prefer to shared rental accommodation andhostel accommodat

雅思帮忙改小作文~Thischart illustrates the different choices of accommodation in Evonia among threeage group 17 years old to over 46 years old. In theage between 17 and 19, people are prefer to shared rental accommodation andhostel accommodat
雅思帮忙改小作文~
Thischart illustrates the different choices of accommodation in Evonia among threeage group 17 years old to over 46 years old.

In theage between 17 and 19, people are prefer to shared rental accommodation andhostel accommodation, which are accounts for 35% and 30% respectively, only 2%of people living in their own house. However, there are almost a quarter ofpeople who living in their own house, which follow the 36% of people who livingin own apartment. In the people who are 46 years old and over, the most popularaccommodation is own apartment with 33%, which was followed by own house with31% and then 20% of hostel accommodation. In addition, there are 13% of peoplewho living in assisted living, and the least popular accommodation is sharedrental accommodation for 46 years old and over people.

Overall,the graph shows that most young people don't have their own house, while themajority of middle-aged people and old people can buy their won accommodation.
看看能有多少分……

雅思帮忙改小作文~Thischart illustrates the different choices of accommodation in Evonia among threeage group 17 years old to over 46 years old. In theage between 17 and 19, people are prefer to shared rental accommodation andhostel accommodat
5分吧 不是打击你,错误挺多的
先说优点啊,你对小作文整体把握不错,知道用长难句,结构不错
第一段 three age groups-
第二段 有prefer就不要are,prefer to do 不是ed account那里一样的错误,有实义动词就别出be
2% 那里living你是想做伴随吗 前面加个with 表伴随.who are living 或者who lives 这是个从句.which follows,算了 用followed by不要the 36后面的who删了
不是in the people,是in the category of...46-year-old 20%前面不要then
13%那里同样的错误
最后 their own houses
,which 用太多了,换换哈,
很有潜力,补补语法吧

楼主，它的大体意思是这样的：thischart说明在threeage组17岁之间的evonia住宿的不同选择，超过46岁。在17和19之间的年龄，人们喜欢分享andhostel租房住宿，这是分别为35%和30%的帐户，只有2%的人生活在自己的房子。然而，几乎有四分之一的人生活在自己的房子，这跟人活在自己的公寓36%。在那些46岁以上的人，是自己最popularaccommodation公寓33%，...

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楼主，它的大体意思是这样的：thischart说明在threeage组17岁之间的evonia住宿的不同选择，超过46岁。在17和19之间的年龄，人们喜欢分享andhostel租房住宿，这是分别为35%和30%的帐户，只有2%的人生活在自己的房子。然而，几乎有四分之一的人生活在自己的房子，这跟人活在自己的公寓36%。在那些46岁以上的人，是自己最popularaccommodation公寓33%，其次是自己的房子现在的31 %和20%宿舍。此外，还有人居住在辅助生活13%，和最流行的住宿是sharedrental住宿的46岁以上的人。总的来说，图形显示，大多数年轻人都# 039；T有自己的房子，而中年人和老年人大部分可以购买自己的住宿。
这个您应该去问您的英文老师哦~依我看，这个应该打60~86分哦！
(可以帮到您吗？求采纳~谢谢！）

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