自我介绍是：Good morning,teacher,my Chinese name is XXX,you can call me BIll.I was born in 1995,like many young men,I like sport,especially basketball.Lebron James is my favorite NBA star.My favorite color is green,because it’s the sign of pe

自我介绍是：Good morning,teacher,my Chinese name is XXX,you can call me BIll.I was born in 1995,like many young men,I like sport,especially basketball.Lebron James is my favorite NBA star.My favorite color is green,because it’s the sign of pe
自我介绍是：
Good morning,teacher,my Chinese name is XXX,you can call me BIll.I was born in 1995,like many young men,I like sport,especially basketball.Lebron James is my favorite NBA star.My favorite color is green,because it’s the sign of peace.And I like computer and English too.Everyday I like to read and practice English and I have had the certificate of PETS1 in 2007.Sometimes I like to try some new software,and I could get along very well with my friends and friends online.
I have got lots of award in many contest.I’m good at math and chemistry.I like them very much.I also served as a presenter in my school activities,I won the first prize in school contest in 2007.
Oh,there have been so many words,I think it’s enough.
Thank you

自我介绍是：Good morning,teacher,my Chinese name is XXX,you can call me BIll.I was born in 1995,like many young men,I like sport,especially basketball.Lebron James is my favorite NBA star.My favorite color is green,because it’s the sign of pe
Good morning,teacher,my Chinese name is XXX,and you can call me Bill.（两个完整的句子之间必须要有连接词,因此加and） I was born in 1995,like many young men,I like sports,（热爱运动都说like sports） especially basketball.Lebron James is my favorite NBA star.My favorite color is green,because it’s the sign of peace.And I like computer and English too.Everyday I like reading and practicing（习惯性的喜欢一般用like doing）English and I got（用got好一些,表示获得,而且后面写了日期,就不能用现在完成时了,只能用一般过去时） the certificate of PETS1 in 2007.Sometimes I like to try some new software（复数）,and I （不要加情态动词,多余） get along very well with my friends and friends online.（and friends online可以去掉.有点重复和多余）
I have got lots of awards（复数.奖励）in many contests.（复数） I’m good at math and chemistry.I like them very much.I also served as a presenter in my school activities.I won the first prize in school contest in 2007.
Oh,there have been so many words,I think it’s enough.（结尾改成这样更好：That's all,thanks,言简意赅）
不懂的在线call我、哈.

额 这个在我介绍时高中课上用的？？

写的很好，基本上没什么大毛病。有几处可以略微修改一下。
1.My Chinese name改成My name
2.I was born 改成 I am born
3.many young man 改成many young people
4.I could get along 改成 I can get along
5。去掉倒数第二句。这一句在这里很多余。
仅供参考！