如何改正.急The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.The goods therefore are easier to sale.As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.

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如何改正.急The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.The goods therefore are easier to sale.As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.
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如何改正.急The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.The goods therefore are easier to sale.As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.
如何改正.急
The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.The goods therefore are easier to sale.As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.

如何改正.急The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.The goods therefore are easier to sale.As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.
The reason is that the customers have found intimacy from here.
---found intimacy表达不妥.改为felt intimacy.
Also,it is easier to communicate between employees and them.
---also放这里不太好.后面感觉也不地道.
建议改为
It is convenient for the customers to communicate with the employees.
方便顾客与雇员进行对话.突出顾客.
The goods therefore are easier to sale.
---句意似乎是商品卖得火爆.
建议改为
Therefore the goods are sold very well.
As a result,the supermarket increased 10% profit in this month.
---10%位置有误.increased profit 10%.