帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.How to Be Successful in Your LifeHello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.I think first,you s

帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.How to Be Successful in Your LifeHello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.I think first,you s
帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.
How to Be Successful in Your Life
Hello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.I think first,you should fix a aim.Second,you should try your best to achieve the aim.Third,don't give up!The achievement of a aim comes at a price.For example,Lang Lang began taking piano lessons at the age of three,it cost him much time,but now he is the one of the most famous pianists in the world.You shouldn't think that it's hard to achieve the aim.You should think that you are the best!That's all!Thank you!

帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.How to Be Successful in Your LifeHello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.I think first,you s
How to Be Successful in Your Life
Hello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk something about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.but what should we do first,I think ,you should fix a aim.Second,you should try your best to achieve the aim.Third,never give up!The achievement of a aim comes at a price.For example,Lang Lang began taking piano lessons at the age of three,he spent lots of time on it and work very hard.as a result now he is the one of the most famous pianists in the world.Maybe you think that it's hard to achieve the aim.but if you want to succeed you should think that you are the best!
That's all!Thank you!
整体还可以吧 我给修改了一些地方 不知道你是几年级的啊

LZ我觉得你的Should用的次数太多，建议换比如Would can 等词或着改变一下句形别太死板