求几个经典英文笑话!2个以上.最好短一点

求几个经典英文笑话!2个以上.最好短一点
求几个经典英文笑话!
2个以上.
最好短一点

求几个经典英文笑话!2个以上.最好短一点
1.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says:"God,what is a million dollars to you?" and God says:"A penny",then the man says:"God,what is a million years to you?" and God says:"a second",then the man says:"God,can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
　　2.Osama Bin Laden,a Canadian,and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp.They rubbed it and a genie came out and said,"I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said,"I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true.Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true.President Bush said "Genie,tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow!That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!
　　拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!"
　　3.Once two hunters went hunting in the forest.One of them suddenly fell down by accident.He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.The operator said calmly:"First,you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
　　两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸.另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话.接线员沉着地说：“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡.”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办?”
　　4.Let me take it down
　　An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
　　"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
　　为我所用
　　一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西.”
　　“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来.”老鼠说.“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听.
　　5.Watering Flower In Rain
　　Tom:Why doyou have that watering can?
　　Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.
　　Tom:But it'd raining.
　　Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.
　　雨天浇花
　　汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么?
　　丹：我要去浇花.
　　汤姆：可是,在下雨呀!
　　丹：没关系,我穿着雨衣呢!