雅思小作文求批改!剑4 Test 4 语法不是特别好,自己练习ing,希望大家多给一些意见.The diagrams display the information about UK residents travel to other countries and overseas residents travel to UK between 1979 and 1999, and

雅思小作文求批改!剑4 Test 4 语法不是特别好,自己练习ing,希望大家多给一些意见.The diagrams display the information about UK residents travel to other countries and overseas residents travel to UK between 1979 and 1999, and
雅思小作文求批改!剑4 Test 4 语法不是特别好,自己练习ing,希望大家多给一些意见.
The diagrams display the information about UK residents travel to other countries and overseas residents travel to UK between 1979 and 1999, and show the most popular countries for UK residents to travel in 1999.
As is shown in the line chart, in general, the number of UK residents who visited abroad and that of overseas residents who visited to the UK were all increased during these 20 years, rising to about 53millions and 28 millions respectively. However, the statistic of former was always more than that of latter, and the gap between the two data had an increasing tendency, especially the difference dramatic enlarged from approximately 1985 to 1999.
Focusing on the bar graph, it is clear seen that France was the most popular country for UK travelers in 1999, accounting for about 11 millions. The second popular country was Spain, and the number of visitors was 9 millions. Except these two countries, there were 3 countries UK residents preferred to visit in 1999, which were Turkey (2.5 millions), Greece (3 millions), and USA (3.5 millions).
Overall, the number of UK residents who traveled abroad sharp rose from 1979 to 1999. Meanwhile, France gained the most number of UK visitors.

雅思小作文求批改!剑4 Test 4 语法不是特别好,自己练习ing,希望大家多给一些意见.The diagrams display the information about UK residents travel to other countries and overseas residents travel to UK between 1979 and 1999, and
6分到6.5分水平.有些小语法错误,比如第二段开头 the number of **** and that of *** were increased,这个应该用主动过去时态,increased .对于line chart,不仅要描写总趋势,还要描写一些突出的细节变化.Bar chart,描写的很平凡,句式很普通,表达清晰,没什么错误,不好不坏.最后一段 sharply rose ,副词来修饰动词.句型的变换太普通,词语也没有什么活用的迹象.比如UK residents UK visitors UK travellers(双写l,雅思是英国人阅卷,偷懒单写l可能被心情不好的考官减分.美国人懒得很才单写.) 这三个词可以有很多种形式表达,People travelled from UK,People from Britain.总体而言没有什么亮点,也没什么大缺点,语句通顺,词汇适中,给个6.5差不多.没什么好改的,重写还差不多.