请帮我改一篇作文,六级要求,will thei nternet replace university?with the rapid development of science and technology,internet has became a very popular access to get knowledge.however,it also make an enormous impact on traditional educatio

请帮我改一篇作文,六级要求,will thei nternet replace university?with the rapid development of science and technology,internet has became a very popular access to get knowledge.however,it also make an enormous impact on traditional educatio
请帮我改一篇作文,六级要求,will thei nternet replace university?
with the rapid development of science and technology,internet has became a very popular access to get knowledge.however,it also make an enormous impact on traditional education.many people begin to choose online study to get diploma rather than university,but will internet really replace university?
attitude towards the arguement vary from people to people.from my point of view,university is still in the dominant position ,internet may just be a helpful assess to study.first,in the university,our teeaher could give us a higher quality education which internet fail to do.when we have troubles in study,we can directly ask our teacher ,they could explain the problom clearly,nevertheless,i do not think the internet could be capable tocomplete the work as excellent as our teacher .besides,university is not only a place for syudy,it also offer us an opportunity to cmmunicate with each other ,only in the university can we improve our ability to adapt the complex society.
taken all those factors into consideration,we can naturally come to the conclusion that,it
is almost impossible for internet to replace university,but internet is still a tool of significance for learning.

请帮我改一篇作文,六级要求,will thei nternet replace university?with the rapid development of science and technology,internet has became a very popular access to get knowledge.however,it also make an enormous impact on traditional educatio
1注意大写和单复数
2英文的标点符号是实心的句号
3文章单句很多,适当用从句来加长句子.一些句子加点修饰,有些句子是中文式的翻译
4acess等单词重复使用,应选用其他的词代替,measure,way,tool等
but也是重复使用
请问你是用的模板吗?你有上新东方吗

随着科学技术的发展速度，因特网变得越来越普及，易懂，然而，

With the rapid development of science and technology，Internet has become a very popular access to get knowledge。however，it also make an enormous impact on traditional education。many people begin to ch...

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With the rapid development of science and technology，Internet has become a very popular access to get knowledge。however，it also make an enormous impact on traditional education。many people begin to choose online study to get diploma rather than study at university，but will internet really replace university?
attitude towards the argument vary from people to people。from my point of view，university is still at the dominant position ，internet may just be a helpful assess to study。first，in the university，our teacher could give us a higher quality education which internet fail to do。when we have troubles in study，we can directly ask our teacher ，they could explain the problem clearly，nevertheless，I do not think the internet could be capable to complete the work as excellent as our teacher 。besides，university is not only a place for study，it also offer us an opportunity to communicate with each other , in the university can we improve our ability to adapt the complex society。
taken all those factors into consideration，we can naturally come to the conclusion that，it
is almost impossible for internet to replace university，but internet is still a tool of significance for learning。
简单改了下，感觉此文套的短语比较多，中心意思不强烈，建议把这两者的区别叙述的更多些，不要刻意的去套些短语

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重点论述你认为的二者之间的区别，可以在加几点：internet比较枯燥乏味而且孤独，在university学习你会有集体归属感，可以与老师同学进行交流，能够改正自己的缺点，发现不足，还能吸收更多他人的观点，让自己思想更开阔…还可以从更高层面论述，internet是冰冷的机器而university则是一处风景，能以其特有的人文情怀让我们身心健康发展，学到的不仅仅是知识还有一种人生态度…...

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重点论述你认为的二者之间的区别，可以在加几点：internet比较枯燥乏味而且孤独，在university学习你会有集体归属感，可以与老师同学进行交流，能够改正自己的缺点，发现不足，还能吸收更多他人的观点，让自己思想更开阔…还可以从更高层面论述，internet是冰冷的机器而university则是一处风景，能以其特有的人文情怀让我们身心健康发展，学到的不仅仅是知识还有一种人生态度…

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是修改吗？