英语大神能帮我检查下语法或表达上的问题吗,希望达人们能指出其中的各种问题,表达上的、语法上的等等,Furthermore,I have done some team projects during my postgraduate study.In some projects,I acted as a team le

英语大神能帮我检查下语法或表达上的问题吗,希望达人们能指出其中的各种问题,表达上的、语法上的等等,Furthermore,I have done some team projects during my postgraduate study.In some projects,I acted as a team le
英语大神能帮我检查下语法或表达上的问题吗,
希望达人们能指出其中的各种问题,表达上的、语法上的等等,
Furthermore,I have done some team projects during my postgraduate study.In some projects,I acted as a team leader,even though generally there were maximum 5 people in the team,I am very pleased to communicate with my team mates to solve various problems and I could be a reliable partner in each project,after which we gave a presentation in a seminar.During last summer,I interned in the Emporium as -- and this work experience has taught me valuable workplace skills.I am proud of being a member of group and sharing information with my colleagues with the time limitation,which provides I can the essential criteria 12,13,14,16-21,and the desirable criteria of 9 and 15.

英语大神能帮我检查下语法或表达上的问题吗,希望达人们能指出其中的各种问题,表达上的、语法上的等等,Furthermore,I have done some team projects during my postgraduate study.In some projects,I acted as a team le
怎么都不去先过一遍自动的纠错软件呢?
以下是1Checker软件的自动纠错建议：

being a member of group （group前面少冠词 the）

which provides I can （后面直接跟the?没有动词,我猜你想说的是I can meet the criteria?）



下面是我人工的一些看法,时间关系看得比较粗

第一句用了some,第二句还是some?建议第一句改一下

第二句,人少,和后面的内容既没有转折关系,也没有什么联系,放在这里感觉就是凑字的,毫无必要.中文逻辑上都说不通,如果你一定要说,那也应该是“虽然团队成员不多,但依然需要XXX能力,让我XXXX,我是一个team player之类的”

interned in?这个词组是监禁,拘禁的意思!intern是可以指实习,但不是这么用,而且直接用作动词显得太口语化了!worked as an intern,took an internship都行

taught me valuable XXX skills?taught这个词太不恰当了,换掉

workplace skills?说的太大,等于白说,也没有例子.请从以下的技能里面选一些你想说的： problem-solving and creative thinking; developmental skills,such as self-esteem,motivation and goal-setting; group effectiveness skills,including teamwork; and interpersonal or influencing skills,such as leadership and understanding group dynamics. 



总结一下,书面表达没有太多的基础性问题（你自己用下英文纠错软件估计就行了）,但内容很贫乏,缺乏说服力,team leader的例子空洞.最大的问题是内容问题,需要花时间重构.

1.“I am very pleased to communicate with my team mates ……”这里的“am”应该为was ，时态一致。
2.“after which we gave a presentation in a seminar”把after which改为before
3.“I am proud of being a member of group ...

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1.“I am very pleased to communicate with my team mates ……”这里的“am”应该为was ，时态一致。
2.“after which we gave a presentation in a seminar”把after which改为before
3.“I am proud of being a member of group and sharing information ”am改was，时态一致。
4.“ which provides I can the essential criteria 12, 13, 14, 16-21, ”can 改could，时态。

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