Revise the paragraph to improve sentence style by varying sentence beginnings,correcting nonparallel structures,and revising stringy or wordy sentences.When other children were collecting insects and shells,I was looking at leaves and flowers,and whe

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Revise the paragraph to improve sentence style by varying sentence beginnings,correcting nonparallel structures,and revising stringy or wordy sentences.When other children were collecting insects and shells,I was looking at leaves and flowers,and whe
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Revise the paragraph to improve sentence style by varying sentence beginnings,correcting nonparallel structures,and revising stringy or wordy sentences.When other children were collecting insects and shells,I was looking at leaves and flowers,and whe
Revise the paragraph to improve sentence style by varying sentence beginnings,correcting nonparallel structures,and revising stringy or wordy sentences.
When other children were collecting insects and shells,I was looking at leaves and flowers,and whenever my brother and I went fishing,I spent more then a majority of the time studying the vegetation on the riverbanks.

Revise the paragraph to improve sentence style by varying sentence beginnings,correcting nonparallel structures,and revising stringy or wordy sentences.When other children were collecting insects and shells,I was looking at leaves and flowers,and whe
I was looking at leaves and flowers while other children were collecting insects and shells.Whenever my brother and I went fishing,I spent most of the time studying the plants on the riverbanks.
These sentences may be better.