有一句英语求职话有点语病,谁来修改下?To obtain a position as a technician or stuff engaged in the machine design and manufacturing.I major in Process Equipment and Control Engineering,have good commanded knowledge of mechanical engine

有一句英语求职话有点语病,谁来修改下?To obtain a position as a technician or stuff engaged in the machine design and manufacturing.I major in Process Equipment and Control Engineering,have good commanded knowledge of mechanical engine
有一句英语求职话有点语病,谁来修改下?
To obtain a position as a technician or stuff engaged in the machine design and manufacturing.
I major in Process Equipment and Control Engineering,have good commanded knowledge of mechanical engineering,chemical engineering,and the control engineering etc.,with an emphasis in the engineering design,technique development,and the management.I offer proficiency of English,well-trained ability to use the computer,excel in the graphics of CAD.

有一句英语求职话有点语病,谁来修改下?To obtain a position as a technician or stuff engaged in the machine design and manufacturing.I major in Process Equipment and Control Engineering,have good commanded knowledge of mechanical engine
I am interested in a position as a technician or stuff engaged in the machine designing and manufacturing.
I major in Process Equipment and Control Engineering,who have good commanded knowledge of the mechanical and chemical engnieering as well.My knowledge of professions emphasizes the engineering design,technique development,and management.I am confident to offer proficiencies of English as well as well-trained computer skills such as excel in the graphics of CAD.

句子不完整，现在这个句子的意思为“为了获得一个从事于机械设计和生产事业的工程师或者职员的职业”，有点饶嘴，简单点就是“为了获得一个"A"方面的"B"职业，感觉象有话没说完，
还可以这样理解 engaged往后 都是定语从句。划去后，句子显然然不完整。
要改的话，加上主语 "I want to obtain..."
或者在句子后面加上",we should 。。。。。"...

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句子不完整，现在这个句子的意思为“为了获得一个从事于机械设计和生产事业的工程师或者职员的职业”，有点饶嘴，简单点就是“为了获得一个"A"方面的"B"职业，感觉象有话没说完，
还可以这样理解 engaged往后 都是定语从句。划去后，句子显然然不完整。
要改的话，加上主语 "I want to obtain..."
或者在句子后面加上",we should 。。。。。"

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To obtain a position as a technician or a stuff engaged in the machine design and manufacturing.