帮我修改一下英文文章（越快加分越多!）ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team.He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo.When he was young,he has the innate for many games.He run fast as winds,power as tiger,

帮我修改一下英文文章（越快加分越多!）ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team.He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo.When he was young,he has the innate for many games.He run fast as winds,power as tiger,
帮我修改一下英文文章（越快加分越多!）
ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team.He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo.When he was young,he has the innate for many games.He run fast as winds,power as tiger,and sharp as rabbit.The place Jackie born didn't have good community.The school don't care the color people,and most color can't even join the school.When Jackie's father left his home,Jackie's mom burying her children to California.A other reason is the California didn't have skin discrimination,any children can go to the school,and Jackie's mom even want Jackie Robinson go to the collage.During one day Jackie and his brother play the Olympics,and Jackie won his older brother.Jackie Robinson's nearby are the white skin family.During on day Jackie quarrels with their child,and white skin's father help his child.But white skin family's mom stop them and ask them do you think shy?
Jackie's first challenge is coming,for one time Jackie and his friends play a game,and they broke the fruit stall.So they meet a policeman.Jackie want fright with him,but when policeman tell him what happened when his mom see him go t the Jail,so Jackie stop.By 1938,Jackie tried many different game,and he acquired four letters i one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson choose play the baseball in Negro Leagues.The Negro Leagues star by 1898.Jackie want join baseball team,but he can't because the skin discrimination.Branch Rick tell him the true about America baseball,but Jackie Robinson think it's not fair,he want change skin discrimination.And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger see Jackie was play baseball he agree Ricky and Jackie Robinson join the team.And after many baseball race,finally he become Most Valuable Player,which mean the wonderful contribution.When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky,because the skin color.The newspaper write scornful and racist report about him,also it tell him promise don't against anyone,But Jackie Robinson didn't care,he keeps play and many person accept him.Jackie Robinson still remember the Rick always say to him:" Color didn't matter to fans f the black man is winner." And Jackie Robinson won many cup,people accept the color person.When he about 30 years old,he became a businessman,a civil right activist,and a father have three children.He work at NAACP.NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of color People.He know many color people still need help.
On October 24 1972,when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old,he died.The died of a heart attack.
Jackie Robinson's life is short,but is very brilliant.He give fun and hope,he give us movie,book about him.And he give color people fair.Jackie Robinson was very great,no matter what is his skin color was,just matter how good he is.

帮我修改一下英文文章（越快加分越多!）ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team.He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo.When he was young,he has the innate for many games.He run fast as winds,power as tiger,
错误太多.我改了10分钟了.
Ackie Robinson is the first back man joins the America baseball team.He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo.When he was young,he has the innate for many games.He runs fast as winds,power as tiger,and sharp as rabbit.The place Jackie born didn't have good community.The school doesn’t care the color people,and most color can't even join the school.When Jackie's father left his home,Jackie’s mom burying her children to California.Another reason is the California didn't have skin discrimination; any children can go to the school,and Jackie's mom even want Jackie Robinson go to the collage.During one day Jackie and his brother play the Olympics and Jackie won his older brother.Jackie Robinson's nearby are the white skin family.During on day Jackie quarrels with their child,and white skin's father help his child.But white skin family's mom stops them and asks them do you think shy?
Jackie's first challenge is coming,for one time Jackie and his friends play a game,and they broke the fruit stall.So they meet a policeman.Jackie want fright with him,but when policeman tell him what happened when his mom see him go t the Jail,so Jackie stop.By 1938,Jackie tried many different game,and he acquired four letters I one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson chooses play the baseball in Negro Leagues.The Negro Leagues star by 1898.Jackie want join baseball team,but he can't because the skin discrimination.Branch Rick tell him the true about America baseball,but Jackie Robinson think it's not fair,he want change skin discrimination.And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger see Jackie was play baseball he agrees Ricky and Jackie Robinson join the team.And after many baseball races,finally he become Most Valuable Player,which mean the wonderful contribution.When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky,because the skin color.The newspaper writes scornful and racist report about him,also it tells him promise doesn’t against anyone,But Jackie Robinson didn't care,he keeps play and many people accept him.Jackie Robinson still remembers the Rick always say to him:" Color didn't matter to fans f the black man is winner." And Jackie Robinson won many cup,people accept the color person.When he about 30 years old,he became a businessman,a civil right activist,and a father have three children.He works at NAACP.NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of color People.He knows many color people still need help.
On October 24 1972,when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old,he died.
Jackie Robinson's life is short,but is very brilliant.He give fun and hope,he give us movie,book about him.And he gives color people fair.Jackie Robinson was very great,no matter what is his skin color was,just matter how good he is.

晕，改就不要犯低级错误嘛！
太多了，我只尽力修改一些。建议本文要在结构上改一下，最好是先要理清思路再写。还有这种人物传记型的文章，最好用过去时。
文章中可以看到，有一点很突出，就是对go to (the)+place 的应用存在误区。 go to +place(school/collage/jail/prison...),不加定冠词表抽象概念，如：去上学/上大学，进监狱等；

全部展开

晕，改就不要犯低级错误嘛！
太多了，我只尽力修改一些。建议本文要在结构上改一下，最好是先要理清思路再写。还有这种人物传记型的文章，最好用过去时。
文章中可以看到，有一点很突出，就是对go to (the)+place 的应用存在误区。 go to +place(school/collage/jail/prison...),不加定冠词表抽象概念，如：去上学/上大学，进监狱等；
go to the +place(school/collage/jail/prison...),加定冠词则表示去学校，监狱等，常有特殊用途。
下面是修改了一些的，还是改得不少，主要是些细节，也许只是因为急忙之中易出错吧：
Ackie Robinson is the first black man joining the American baseball team. He was born on January 31th,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he had the innate for many games. He ran so fast like the wind, was strong like a tiger, and skilful like a rabbit. The place Jackie was brought up is not a good community. The school didn’t care the colored people, most of whom couldn't join in the school. When Jackie's father left his home, Jackie's mom brought her children to California. Another reason is that people in California didn't have the discrimination, and every child could go to school. Jackie's mom even wanted Jackie Robinson go to collage. One day, Jackie and his brother played the Olympics, and Jackie won over his older brother. Jackie Robinson's neighbours were a family of white skin. One day, Jackie quarrelled with their child, and the child’s father helped his child. But the child’s mom stopped them and asked them if they were shy about this.
Jackie's first challenge was coming. Once Jackie and his friends played a game, and they broke the fruit stall. So they met a policeman. Jackie wanted to protest, but when the policeman told him what would happen if his mom should see him go to jail, Jackie stopped. By 1938, Jackie tried many different games, and he acquired four letters in one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson chose to play baseball in Negro Leagues. The Negro Leagues star by 1898. Jackie wanted to join the baseball team, but he could't because of the skin discrimination. Branch Rick told him the truth about American baseball, but Jackie Robinson thought it was not fair. He wanted to change skin discrimination. And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger saw Jackie play baseball he agreed Ricky and Jackie Robinson to join in the team. And after many baseball races, he became Most Valuable Player finally, which meant the wonderful contribution. When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky, because of the skin color. The newspaper wrote scornful and racist reports on him, also it tell him promise don't against anyone. But Jackie Robinson didn't care, he kept playing and many person accepted him. Jackie Robinson still remembered that Rick always told him," Colors doesn’t matter to fans if the black man is the winner." Jackie Robinson won many cups, and people accepted the colored person. When he was about 30 years old, he became a businessman, a civil right activist, and a father having three children. He worked at NAACP, which is the abbreviation of the National Association for the Advancement of colored People. He knew many colored people still need help.
On October 24 1972, when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old, he died. He died of a heart attack.
Jackie Robinson's life is short, but it is very brilliant. He gave fun and hope, he gave us movies, books on him. And he gave color ed people fairness. Jackie Robinson is very great, no matter what his skin color was, just matter how good he is.

收起

你太啰嗦了，只要把这件事讲清楚接醒了，要领讲出来就可以了，还出现了许多病句。还有，自己慢慢看，在网上打字等答案还不如自己想，看，这样以后你就不用愁了，虽然我只是个小学生。

ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team. He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he has the innate for many games. He run fast as winds,power as tiger,a...

全部展开

ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team. He was born on January 31,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he has the innate for many games. He run fast as winds,power as tiger,and sharp as rabbit. The place Jackie born didn't have good community. The school don't care the color people, and most color can't even join the school. When Jackie's father left his home,Jackie's mom burying her children to California. A other reason is the California didn't have skin discrimination, any children can go to the school,and Jackie's mom even want Jackie Robinson go to the collage. During one day Jackie and his brother play the Olympics, and Jackie won his older brother. Jackie Robinson's nearby are the white skin family. During on day Jackie quarrels with their child, and white skin's father help his child. But white skin family's mom stop them and ask them do you think shy?
Jackie's first challenge is coming, for one time Jackie and his friends play a game, and they broke the fruit stall. So they meet a policeman. Jackie want fright with him, but when policeman tell him what happened when his mom see him go t the Jail, so Jackie stop. By 1938, Jackie tried many different game, and he acquired four letters i one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson choose play the baseball in Negro Leagues. The Negro Leagues star by 1898. Jackie want join baseball team, but he can't because the skin discrimination. Branch Rick tell him the true about America baseball, but Jackie Robinson think it's not fair, he want change skin discrimination. And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger see Jackie was play baseball he agree Ricky and Jackie Robinson join the team. And after many baseball race, finally he become Most Valuable Player, which mean the wonderful contribution. When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky, because the skin color. The newspaper write scornful and racist report about him, also it tell him promise don't against anyone, But Jackie Robinson didn't care, he keeps play and many person accept him. Jackie Robinson still remember the Rick always say to him:" Color didn't matter to fans f the black man is winner." And Jackie Robinson won many cup, people accept the color person. When he about 30 years old, he became a businessman,a civil right activist, and a father have three children. He work at NAACP. NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of color People. He know many color people still need help.
On October 24 1972, when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old, he died. The died of a heart attack.
Jackie Robinson's life is short,but is very brilliant. He give fun and hope,he give us movie,book about him. And he give color people fair. Jackie Robinson was very great,no matter what is his skin color was, just matter how good he is.

收起

Ackie Robinson is the first black man joining the American baseball team. He was born on January 31th,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he had the innate for many games. He ran so fast like the wind, ...

全部展开

Ackie Robinson is the first black man joining the American baseball team. He was born on January 31th,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he had the innate for many games. He ran so fast like the wind, was strong like a tiger, and skilful like a rabbit. The place Jackie was brought up is not a good community. The school didn’t care the colored people, most of whom couldn't join in the school. When Jackie's father left his home, Jackie's mom brought her children to California. Another reason is that people in California didn't have the discrimination, and every child could go to school. Jackie's mom even wanted Jackie Robinson go to collage. One day, Jackie and his brother played the Olympics, and Jackie won over his older brother. Jackie Robinson's neighbours were a family of white skin. One day, Jackie quarrelled with their child, and the child’s father helped his child. But the child’s mom stopped them and asked them if they were shy about this.
Jackie's first challenge was coming. Once Jackie and his friends played a game, and they broke the fruit stall. So they met a policeman. Jackie wanted to protest, but when the policeman told him what would happen if his mom should see him go to jail, Jackie stopped. By 1938, Jackie tried many different games, and he acquired four letters in one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson chose to play baseball in Negro Leagues. The Negro Leagues star by 1898. Jackie wanted to join the baseball team, but he could't because of the skin discrimination. Branch Rick told him the truth about American baseball, but Jackie Robinson thought it was not fair. He wanted to change skin discrimination. And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger saw Jackie play baseball he agreed Ricky and Jackie Robinson to join in the team. And after many baseball races, he became Most Valuable Player finally, which meant the wonderful contribution. When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky, because of the skin color. The newspaper wrote scornful and racist reports on him, also it tell him promise don't against anyone. But Jackie Robinson didn't care, he kept playing and many person accepted him. Jackie Robinson still remembered that Rick always told him," Colors doesn’t matter to fans if the black man is the winner." Jackie Robinson won many cups, and people accepted the colored person. When he was about 30 years old, he became a businessman, a civil right activist, and a father having three children. He worked at NAACP, which is the abbreviation of the National Association for the Advancement of colored People. He knew many colored people still need help.
On October 24 1972, when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old, he died. He died of a heart attack.
Jackie Robinson's life is short, but it is very brilliant. He gave fun and hope, he gave us movies, books on him. And he gave color ed people fairness. Jackie Robinson is very great, no matter what his skin color was, just matter how good he is.

收起

Ackie Robinson is the first black man joining the American baseball team. He was born on January 31th,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he had the innate for many games. He ran so fast like the wind, ...

全部展开

Ackie Robinson is the first black man joining the American baseball team. He was born on January 31th,1919 in Cairo. When he was young, he had the innate for many games. He ran so fast like the wind, was strong like a tiger, and skilful like a rabbit. The place Jackie was brought up is not a good community. The school didn’t care the colored people, most of whom couldn't join in the school. When Jackie's father left his home, Jackie's mom brought her children to California. Another reason is that people in California didn't have the discrimination, and every child could go to school. Jackie's mom even wanted Jackie Robinson go to collage. One day, Jackie and his brother played the Olympics, and Jackie won over his older brother. Jackie Robinson's neighbours were a family of white skin. One day, Jackie quarrelled with their child, and the child’s father helped his child. But the child’s mom stopped them and asked them if they were shy about this.
Jackie's first challenge was coming. Once Jackie and his friends played a game, and they broke the fruit stall. So they met a policeman. Jackie wanted to protest, but when the policeman told him what would happen if his mom should see him go to jail, Jackie stopped. By 1938, Jackie tried many different games, and he acquired four letters in one season.
Finally by 1944 Jackie Robinson chose to play baseball in Negro Leagues. The Negro Leagues star by 1898. Jackie wanted to join the baseball team, but he could't because of the skin discrimination. Branch Rick told him the truth about American baseball, but Jackie Robinson thought it was not fair. He wanted to change skin discrimination. And when the coach of Brooklyn Dodger saw Jackie play baseball he agreed Ricky and Jackie Robinson to join in the team. And after many baseball races, he became Most Valuable Player finally, which meant the wonderful contribution. When he stars join Brooklyn Dodger many other players ignored him and Ricky, because of the skin color. The newspaper wrote scornful and racist reports on him, also it tell him promise don't against anyone. But Jackie Robinson didn't care, he kept playing and many person accepted him. Jackie Robinson still remembered that Rick always told him," Colors doesn’t matter to fans if the black man is the winner." Jackie Robinson won many cups, and people accepted the colored person. When he was about 30 years old, he became a businessman, a civil right activist, and a father having three children. He worked at NAACP, which is the
On October 24 1972, when Jackie Robinson was 53 years old, he died. He died of a heart attack.
................................

收起

xing

1:ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team应该这么说：Ackie Robinson is the first back man who join the America baseball team.
2:He run fast as winds,power as tiger,and sharp ...

全部展开

1:ackie Robinson is the first back man join the America baseball team应该这么说：Ackie Robinson is the first back man who join the America baseball team.
2:He run fast as winds,power as tiger,and sharp as rabbit. 这句话是不是啰嗦？？没有必要吧？
3：and he acquired four letters i one season。。。我英语没学好。。不过还是没看懂。。。（英语真正体现水平不是考长单词，而是看你怎么简单的表述并且让人知道你说啥）
后面的应该没有什么问题了。只是，这篇文章-0 -一个人的简介么？
老师要你们写这文章干啥？

收起