谁能帮我修改下我写的英语文章?好象很多语法错误.The C&D xiamen international marathon is held once a year,2009 C&D xiamen international marathon will start to next saturday,this competition is a cheerful occasion.My father and I h

谁能帮我修改下我写的英语文章?好象很多语法错误.The C&D xiamen international marathon is held once a year,2009 C&D xiamen international marathon will start to next saturday,this competition is a cheerful occasion.My father and I h
谁能帮我修改下我写的英语文章?好象很多语法错误.
The C&D xiamen international marathon is held once a year,2009 C&D xiamen international marathon will start to next saturday,this competition is a cheerful occasion.
My father and I have taked part in the 2009 C&D xiamen international marathon ,we have entered for this marathon use the way of online register system.
I will take part this marathon twice,but my father will be first,my father is 43 yeara old ,but he looks in his thirty and always yong ,my father likes sport very much.he has a good athletic ability,my family's athletic ability are all-right.Recently we are exercising,we hope we have a good record in this competition.
In spite of this marathon had held for 7 years,but i only taked park twice,because every year have the suddenness,I remembered the first years i got the appendicitis,so a doctor tell me ,don't runing at all herefrom,that time,i ed,he hurted my heart,i hate him,and two twice always entered but it is too late,for there were so many peopel entered for it ,I was a student,so i have no time to enter for it in time and 3456789.
this years i succeeded enter for the marathon,i use the way of online register system,it is expediently and speediness.
god bless us.

谁能帮我修改下我写的英语文章?好象很多语法错误.The C&D xiamen international marathon is held once a year,2009 C&D xiamen international marathon will start to next saturday,this competition is a cheerful occasion.My father and I h
1行.C&D xiamen international marathon→C&D Xiamen International Marathon
2行.will start to next saturday是指下周六开始还是结束?建议改成will start next Saturday
根据下文已经发生过了 可能想表达的意思是持续到下周六
可以用will be held until next Saturday
this competition is a cheerful occasion→this competition was a cheerful occasion
3行.taked→taken,take的过去分词taken
去掉行末的have
3-4行.整句改为we entered the activity by using the online register system.
5行.第一句时态全错I have taken part in the Marathon for twice,but my father haven't taken part in it before.
不同的独立句子之间记得用句号.
yeara→years
6行.in his thirty→in his thirties
yong→young
athletic不是一种能力
He is athletic.就可以了
7-8行.根据活动已经参加过了 后面用的进行时错了
还有record指记录 只可break the record此处用achievement成绩就可以了
we are exercising→we had exercised a log and hoped to have a good achievement in...
9行.应用被动had held→had been held
错好多：but i only taked park twice→but I have only taken part in it for twice
9-10行.如果是讲意外的事情（不知道有没有suddenness这个词）改成because there are suddenness every year.
10行.最好把a doctor改成my doctor 或者the doctor显然是特指的医生
而且不是直接的因果关系最好把so 去掉
11行.改成...tell me not to run any more或者...tell me "Don't run any more"...
"i ed"又是什么玩意
如果你不是一辈子都恨他就不要用一般时→I used to hate him.
没有关联的句子为什么要用and连接呢?
two twice→the second time
11行.删always
it is too late→it was too late
peopel→people
entered for it→entered it
你是学生和你没时间及时参加有什么关系?为什么用so?
3456789是什么啊 你直接etc.就是了
13行.改成...I was succeed in entering the Marathon..句型错 介词错
后面改成I used the online register system
14行.expendiently and speediness→expedient and speeding词性错
15行.你都参加过了还要上帝保佑什么啊不要添加这种无聊的自以为不错的文字
看完整篇文章 我十分非常无语..