下面的英语短文有语法错误么“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was too old

下面的英语短文有语法错误么“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was too old
下面的英语短文有语法错误么“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could
“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was too old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I will work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

下面的英语短文有语法错误么“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could“The Old Cat” An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was too old
在保留作者原本水平的基础上作了整段改动.有些赘述的地方省略了重复的内容,有些语法有点小问题,如“the cat had not killed the mouse”,虽不能说错,但此处没必要用过去完成时,这种小故事语法简单点比较合适.因此改成了一般过去时.最后一句“Do not be unkind to the old,but remember what good work the old did when they were young."拆分成两句,以”Instead“作连接,更符合逻辑,也能有强调后半句的作用.也可以用”Rather“连接
需要注意的地方是英语的标点问题.分号的使用是不合适的.在一个意群结束时直接用句号,更简洁,也更符合英美人的习惯.
An old woman had a cat.The cat was so old that she could neither run quickly nor bite anything.One day the old cat saw a mouse.She jumped and caught the mouse.But she could not bite it,so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat did not kill the mouse.She began to hit the cat.The cat said,"Do not hit your old servant.I have worked for you for many years,and I will work for you still,but I am too old.Do not be unkind to the old.Instead,remember what good work the old did when they were young."

很好的一个故事

代词she容易发生歧义

but remember what good work the old did when they were young."中的but改为and(这里不是转折哦！！）

“she could not run quickly”最好用run fast吧
bite anything "because the cat could not bite it."可以删去，因为你重复了
''the cat had not killed''改为the cat can't kill
I will work for you still改为 I will still work for you