各位大神,帮我修改下这篇英语作文吧!~~~~~~Along with Chinese colleges and universities to expand enrollment.Therefore, each year a growing number of university graduates and to society or graduate school.Under the current employment sit

各位大神,帮我修改下这篇英语作文吧!~~~~~~Along with Chinese colleges and universities to expand enrollment.Therefore, each year a growing number of university graduates and to society or graduate school.Under the current employment sit
各位大神,帮我修改下这篇英语作文吧!~~~~~~
Along with Chinese colleges and universities to expand enrollment.Therefore, each year a growing number of university graduates and to society or graduate school.Under the current employment situation is grim, continue to graduate school is probably a good way to avoid risks.But when you finish graduate school, you must be able to find a good job?Perhaps, sometimes the degree does not translate into productivity.We must think about this question.

各位大神,帮我修改下这篇英语作文吧!~~~~~~Along with Chinese colleges and universities to expand enrollment.Therefore, each year a growing number of university graduates and to society or graduate school.Under the current employment sit
批改
□ Along with Chinese colleges and universities to expand enrollment.
1、Chinese colleges and universities表示“中国人的大学”或“汉语大学”,改为colleges and universities in China
2、不定式to expand 表示“未来要扩大”,改为动名词expanding
3、句子缺少主体的主谓结构,应该补充完整,比如：
Along with Chinese colleges and universities expanding enrollment,more and more students are enrolled in them.（随着大学扩大招生,越来越多的学生被录取）.
□ Therefore,each year a growing number of university graduates and to society or graduate school.
句中缺少谓语动词,改为——
Therefore,each year a growing number of university graduates finish school and come into the society for jobs.（因此,每年越来越多的大学毕业生完成学业进入社会求职）
□ Under the current employment situation is grim,continue to graduate school is probably a good way to avoid risks.
1、Under是介词,不能引导从句,改为——
As the current employment situation is grim,（由于当前就业形势十分严峻）
2、句子不完整,改为it is … that句型——
it is probably a good way to lighten social bearing capability that a certain number of the graduates register themselves as post-graduate students to go on with a more advanced course of study.（一定数量的毕业生报考研究生继续深造也许是减轻社会承受能力的好办法）
□ But when you finish graduate school,you must be able to find a good job?
句子不通,改为——
To put the other way round,however,is it possible that you are sure to find a good job when you finish graduate school?（不过,话又说回来,难道从研究院毕业以后你肯定能够找的好工作吗?）
□ Perhaps,sometimes the degree does not translate into productivity.
改为被动语态：Perhaps,sometimes an academic degree does not be translated into productivity.
□ We must think about this question.
改为：We should be provided with a sufficient mental preparation ahead of schedule.（我们应该提前做好精神准备）
修改后的文章
Along with Chinese colleges and universities expanding enrollment,more and more students are enrolled in them.Therefore,each year a growing number of university graduates finish school and come into the society for jobs.As the current employment situation is grim,it is probably a good way to avoid risks that a certain number of the graduates register themselves as post-graduate students to take a more advanced course of study.To put the other way round,however,is it possible that you are sure to find a good job when you finish graduate school?Perhaps,an academic degree sometimes does not be translated into productivity incompletely.We should be provided with a sufficient mental preparation ahead of schedule.

since Chinese colleges and universities expanding enrollment, each year a growing number of university graduates entering the society or choosing advanced studies. under the grim employment situation...

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since Chinese colleges and universities expanding enrollment, each year a growing number of university graduates entering the society or choosing advanced studies. under the grim employment situation, pursuing advanced studies is probably a good way to avoid risks. however after you finish your study, are you sure that you can find a good job? perhaps degree can not prove your ability. this problem deserves us to consider.

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