各路豪侠可不可以帮我挑挑这篇英语自我的毛病!急用!Good morning It is really my honor to have this opportunity for this compete.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now i will introduce mysel

各路豪侠可不可以帮我挑挑这篇英语自我的毛病!急用!Good morning It is really my honor to have this opportunity for this compete.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now i will introduce mysel
各路豪侠可不可以帮我挑挑这篇英语自我的毛病!急用!
Good morning
It is really my honor to have this opportunity for this compete.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.
Now i will introduce myself briefly
I’m a student in the No.9 middle school.A school famous for foreign language.I’m a optimistic girl,I can smile almost in every situation.I believe everything eventually will goes well.I’m a honest girl .I never tell a lie.I think this is one of my advantages.I interest in reading ,swimming ,running,surfing to the internet and play piano .When I feel tired ,I often play piano to relax myself .Of all the things I like sleeping.You know,the students in China are always short of sleeping time.En,I admit I am a girl who isn’t very diligence,but when I make up my mind to do somethings ,I believe that I can concentration in it.
This is me,a girl don’t prefect but honey girl .that all.Thanks.
这是我要参加比赛的稿子~多提提意见也好

各路豪侠可不可以帮我挑挑这篇英语自我的毛病!急用!Good morning It is really my honor to have this opportunity for this compete.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now i will introduce mysel
.用I 太多了,注意语法.
I’m a（是an) optimistic girl
有些废话
I’m a honest girl .I never tell a lie.两句意思一样.
（我很诚实,我从不撒谎）
不如你先用中文打稿再翻成英文,你的文章有点怪怪的.

Good morning everyone!
It is my real honor to have this opportunity taking part in this competition.I will try my best and I believe I can win!
Let me introduce myself briefly to you:
I ...

全部展开

Good morning everyone!
It is my real honor to have this opportunity taking part in this competition.I will try my best and I believe I can win!
Let me introduce myself briefly to you:
I come from No.9 Middle School, which is famous for foreign language teaching. I’m a optimistic girl,I can smile almost in every situation. I believe everything eventually will goes well.I’m honest.I never tell lies. I think this is one of my advantages.I interested in reading ,swimming , running,surfing on the Internet and playing piano .When I feel tired , I often play piano to relax myself . I like sleeping most.You know,the students in China are always short of sleeping. Well,I admit that I am not very diligence, but I can be absorbed when I make up my mind to deal with somethings.
This is me,a girl who is not prefect but sweet. that's all. Thank you for your attention.
不好意思，毛病有点多，所以冒昧就原文改动了一下，个人建议而已，仅供参考。还是有点啰嗦，有些说法不地道......but...as your wish!
无论如何，祝你好运！比赛取得好成绩！

收起

结构大致可以。要注意名词和形容词的区别，人称的变化。
Good morning. It's my pleasure and honor to be here. My name is xxx. I am a student of #9 middle school, which is famous for its foreign language teaching. I am an optim...

全部展开

结构大致可以。要注意名词和形容词的区别，人称的变化。
Good morning. It's my pleasure and honor to be here. My name is xxx. I am a student of #9 middle school, which is famous for its foreign language teaching. I am an optimistic girl who believes that everything would take care of itself, and we should always face the world with a smile.
I am interested in reading, swimming, running, palying the piano, and internet surfing. The best way to relax myself is by playing the piano. There is one more thing that I enjoy the most, that is sleeping. Although I'm not the most diligent girl on earth, I still have to do lots of homework to survive school. I feel that there is an urgent need for making up all the sleep that I have missed.
I am an honest person with a determined mind. I may not be perfect but I'm working hard to perfect myself. I hope someday I can reach my goal. Thank you very much.

收起