如果可以的话,请尽量不要在原句上动太多~AnimalsEverybody knows,many animals are stay in the zoo.The other animals stay in outdoor.Some people think that is a good idea many animals are stay in the zoo,but I think that the animals must

如果可以的话,请尽量不要在原句上动太多~AnimalsEverybody knows,many animals are stay in the zoo.The other animals stay in outdoor.Some people think that is a good idea many animals are stay in the zoo,but I think that the animals must
如果可以的话,请尽量不要在原句上动太多~AnimalsEverybody knows,many animals are stay in the zoo.The other animals stay in outdoor.Some people think that is a good idea many animals are stay in the zoo,but I think that the animals must stay in outdoor.There are two reasons:1.If the animals stay lots of times in the zoo.They will lose the instinet.2.If the animals stay lots of times in the zoo,they will be unhappy and they can’t familiar with the zoo environment.Some people think that is a good idea what many animals stay in the zoo.There are two reasons:1.If the animals are stay lots of times in the zoo,they can grow very quickly,they will be strong.2.People can see the animals everyday,they will like them.I think that the animals must stay in outdoor,because the animals beautiful garden is in outdoor.

如果可以的话,请尽量不要在原句上动太多~AnimalsEverybody knows,many animals are stay in the zoo.The other animals stay in outdoor.Some people think that is a good idea many animals are stay in the zoo,but I think that the animals must
AS everybody knows,some animals stay in the zoo,and the others stay outdoor.Some people think it is a good idea that many animals stay in the zoo,There are two reasons.First,If the animals stay a long time in the zoo,they can grow very quickly,and they will be strong.second,People can see the animals every day,and they will like them.However,I think that the animals must stay outdoor.There are two reasons.Firstly.If the animals stay in the zoo for a long time,they will lose their instinct.secondly,If the animals stay in the zoo,they will be unhappy and I think they can’t be familiar with the environment in the zoo.In allI think that the animals must stay in outdoor,because the animals' beautiful garden is outdoor.

Everybody knows,many animals （stay） in the zoo.The other animals stay outdoors.Some people think that (it) is a good idea (to make) many animals stay in the zoo,but I think that animals must stay ...

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Everybody knows,many animals （stay） in the zoo.The other animals stay outdoors.Some people think that (it) is a good idea (to make) many animals stay in the zoo,but I think that animals must stay outdoors.
There are two reasons:
1.If the animals stay lots of times in the zoo.They will lose the( freedom).2.If the animals stay lots of times in the zoo,they will be unhappy (because) they can’t familiar with the zoo environment.Some people think that is a good idea (that) many animals stay in the zoo.There are two reasons:1.If the animals are stay lots of times in the zoo,they can grow very quickly,they will be strong.2.People can see the animals everyday,they will like them.I think that the animals must stay in outdoor,because the animals' beautiful garden is in outdoors.

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句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；单词拼写做的很好，但文中词汇表达贫乏；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳；请注意分段；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。

.If the animals are stay lots of times in the zoo,they can grow very quickly,they will be strong.这句中的times应该表时间的概念吧，，怎么会复数呢，还有上下句矛盾啊，
其他的都很好~

就这样吧！我会告诉你我看不懂么？

写的还行。。。。。。

AS everybody knows,some animals stay in the zoo,and the others stay outdoor.Some people think it is a good idea that many animals stay in the zoo,There are two reasons.First,If the animals stay a ...

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AS everybody knows,some animals stay in the zoo,and the others stay outdoor.Some people think it is a good idea that many animals stay in the zoo,There are two reasons.First,If the animals stay a long time in the zoo,they can grow very quickly,and they will be strong.second,People can see the animals every day,and they will like them.However, I think that the animals must stay outdoor.There are two reasons.Firstly.If the animals stay in the zoo for a long time,they will lose their instinct.secondly,If the animals stay in the zoo,they will be unhappy and I think they can’t be familiar with the environment in the zoo.In allI think that the animals must stay in outdoor,because the animals' beautiful garden is outdoor.

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Animals
As everyone knows,many animals are stay in the zoo, while others are not.Some people think that it is a brilliant idea to keep animals in the zoo,but from my perspective, animals should st...

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Animals
As everyone knows,many animals are stay in the zoo, while others are not.Some people think that it is a brilliant idea to keep animals in the zoo,but from my perspective, animals should stay in outdoor.
There are two reasons:
First and foremost, If animals spend lots of time in the zoo.They will lose their instinct.
Second, If animals stay a long time in the zoo,they will be unhappy because they can’t be familiar with the zoo environment.
底下这个地方重复了
Some people think that is a good idea that many animals should stay in the zoo.There are two reasons:1.If animals spend lots of times in the zoo,they can grow up very healthily,they will be strong.2.People can see them everyday,people will like them.
I think that the animals must stay in outdoor,because the animals` beautiful garden is in outdoor.
其实整个文章有点没有看懂，感觉应该是逻辑的问题，文章先说不同意原因12，又说别人同意原因12，又说不同意因为 animals` beautiful garden is in outdoor？
其实可以先说我不同意，别人同意的原因12，在逐一反驳同意原因，然后再说自己不同意的原因123（3就是 animals` beautiful garden is in outdoor）
不知道要用在什么地方
只能帮你到这儿了，句子有点重复用词我就用代词替了，time使用spend take 之类的动词，有个词拼错了也改了，加了点逻辑性连词。检查了下语法，添了点从句。应该就这样了，不论如何用，加油吧！

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