可否帮我看看那里错了.我总觉得文章很奇怪,My name is ***.I am twenty years old and my birthday is in July.I have lots of interest,suches reading,singing,duawing,etc.Recently I want to travel abroad,so I am trying to save money.If you

可否帮我看看那里错了.我总觉得文章很奇怪,My name is ***.I am twenty years old and my birthday is in July.I have lots of interest,suches reading,singing,duawing,etc.Recently I want to travel abroad,so I am trying to save money.If you
可否帮我看看那里错了.
我总觉得文章很奇怪,
My name is ***.I am twenty years old and my birthday is in July.I have lots of interest,suches reading,singing,duawing,etc.Recently I want to travel abroad,so I am trying to save money.If you have such a plan,perhaps we can to go together.
I'm very happy to come here to study with you .I hope I can become your friend soon and to complete our studies.

可否帮我看看那里错了.我总觉得文章很奇怪,My name is ***.I am twenty years old and my birthday is in July.I have lots of interest,suches reading,singing,duawing,etc.Recently I want to travel abroad,so I am trying to save money.If you
My name is ***.I am twenty years old and was born in July.I have many interests:reading,singing,drawing,etc.These days I want to travel abroad and am saving money now.If you plan the same,perhaps we could go together.
I'm so happy to be here and hope we can soon be friends to accomplish our courses together

第二句I have lots of interests.下一句的suches改成 such as.后面的duawing改成drawing.Perhaps we can go together就行了.最后一句的to complete our studies如果是意思是完成调查,那就没错,要不就改成improve our ability

interest改为habits,to go改为go因为can后加动词原形，to complete去掉to,syudies改为study

suches - such as
duawing - drawing
etc. - and etc.
travle abroad - go abroad
to go - go
become - be
to complete - complete

my birthday is in july 改为i borned in july 好点。
suches 改为such as ,
perhaps we can to go together这句去掉to,
I hope I can become your friend soon and to complete our studies.这一句改为这样好点：i hope i can become your friend soon and we can complete our study.

1行 interest--interests suches--such as
2 duawing--drawing
3 we can go together
4 come here to --go there and
5 complete--accomplish