求雅思作文修改~来帮我看看雅思作文 这是1月9号的雅思作文 我写了一篇试试 帮我修改下Along with the development of society,more and more problems are brought to our attention,one of which is that the charity organizati

求雅思作文修改~来帮我看看雅思作文 这是1月9号的雅思作文 我写了一篇试试 帮我修改下Along with the development of society,more and more problems are brought to our attention,one of which is that the charity organizati
求雅思作文修改~来帮我看看雅思作文
这是1月9号的雅思作文 我写了一篇试试 帮我修改下
Along with the development of society,more and more problems are brought to our attention,one of which is that the charity organizations should be to help the kind of person.I fully understand why some people think charity should help people in their own countries.But what they believe is only one-sided.From my point of view that charity should helped people in the greatest need,wherever they are from.
To begin with,it is widely accepted that charity help person is a must,wherever they a life in where.It can be seen by the fact that the Chinese often said the hand of charity is extended to alleviate emergency rather than poverty.The Red Cross is main organizations in china.Whatever it is Haiti earthquake or Chile earthquake,Chinese charity Red Cross doesn’t help our counties poor people,however,Red Cross give to people in the greatest need in Haiti and Chile.Other countries charity organization has taken the same way.
Admitted the charity should help people in own counties,But we must remember that a charity not anything,charity must choose help the object.Red Cross hasn’t chosen help poor people in our counties,but chooses to people in greatest need in Haiti and Chile is a perfect example.Although the side effect is inevitable is also brings as obvious benefits.
As a matter of face the progress of human civilization is full of plus and minus.The issue in whether we could overcome the difficulties.Overall,it is undeniable that we help other country people may make a widening between rich and poor in our country.However,we should not be blind to the positive outcomes after all benefits of increased international contact are obvious.
2010年1月9号的 帮我打个分 按雅思的分数

求雅思作文修改~来帮我看看雅思作文 这是1月9号的雅思作文 我写了一篇试试 帮我修改下Along with the development of society,more and more problems are brought to our attention,one of which is that the charity organizati
我是北京世纪雅思的老师,这篇作文5.5分,基础语法较好,但布局结构不合理,长短句搭配不当,中式思维过多的渗入；ps：少许语法错误,单三问题,Red Cross give to,换为gives ；另有个别词汇有待优化,如more and more ,可换成an increasing number of .