Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decide tobuy some presents for her.Then we take a bus to grandma's home.My uncle and grandma are waiting for us when we get there.They show their happiness for our coming.When Igive the present

Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decide tobuy some presents for her.Then we take a bus to grandma's home.My uncle and grandma are waiting for us when we get there.They show their happiness for our coming.When Igive the present
Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decide tobuy some presents for her.Then we take a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma are waiting for us when we get there.They show their happiness for our coming.When Igive the presents to grandma,she really feel happy with a smile.
We set down to talk and my uncle go to prepare for the lunch.The lunch is so nice that we all enjoy it.At 4:00 we say goodbay to eachother and come back to home

Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decide tobuy some presents for her.Then we take a bus to grandma's home.My uncle and grandma are waiting for us when we get there.They show their happiness for our coming.When Igive the present
我帮你改了几处,你的思路很清晰,但是有一点很重要,你却忘记了,这是一篇类似日记的东西,叙述的是过去的事情,除了第一句,其他就一定要用过去式.
具体改的地方还有:
1,爸爸妈妈还有我决定给祖母买礼物.你加了一个first,不知道你要表达什么意思,如果你要表达"起初","首先",后面并没有与之呼应的词.如果你想表示"立刻,马上",可以用immediately.
2,We set down to talk and my uncle go to prepare for the lunch.
你是想说我们坐下来谈话的话,set就要改成sit 的过去式sat,如果你想表达我们开始谈话,用set down to do sth是可以的.后面的叔叔go to prepare for the lunch,你叔叔肯定是去准备午饭,也就是说是他去做饭了,而不是为了这顿饭,他自己做准备,所以应改为prepare the lunch.
3,At 4:00 we said goodbay to eachother and came back home
goodbye你拼错了.这个eachother你再考虑一下,你想表达我们相互说了再见,但似乎只是表示两个人之间.
别的没什么了,个人意见仅供参考.
Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I decided to buy some presents for her.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.They showed their happiness for our coming.When I gave the presents to grandma,she really felt happy with a smile.
We sat down to talk and my uncle went to prepare the lunch.The lunch was so nice that we all enjoyed it.At 4:00 we said goodby to eachother and came back home

set down 改 sit down
come back to home 的 to 删掉

1.时态错误。应该用过去式，因为你奶奶的生日已经过了。
2.去掉first
3.They are glad about our coming.

Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I decided to buy some presents for her firstly.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.Th...

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Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I decided to buy some presents for her firstly.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.They showed their happiness for our coming.When I gave the presents to grandma,she really felt happy .
We sat down to talk with each other and my uncle went to prepare for the lunch.The lunch so so nice that we all enjoyed it.At 4:00 we said goodbay to everybody and came back home.

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Today is my grandma's birthday.Firstly,dad,mum and I decided to buy some presents for her to sgow our best wishes.Then we toke a bus to my grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for u...

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Today is my grandma's birthday.Firstly,dad,mum and I decided to buy some presents for her to sgow our best wishes.Then we toke a bus to my grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we arrival there.They showed their happy feelings for our coming.When I gave the presents which were for grandma,she felt very happy with a smile on her shining face.
We sat down to talk when my uncle went to prepare for the lunch.The lunch was so nice that we all enjoyed it.At 4 o'clock, we said goodbye to each other and went back home happily .
小朋友，注意时态呀！这是硬伤。还有就是表示时间的名词最好不要用“ 4：00”；”home“是方位副词，前面的动词与它之间不用介词，但是若为“one's home”，则为名词，前面有不及物动词接介词“to”等。

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Today was my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decided to buy some presents for her.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.Th...

全部展开

Today was my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decided to buy some presents for her.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.They showed their happiness for our coming.When I gave the presents to grandma,she really felt very happy .
We sat down and had a talk while my uncle went to prepare lunch.The food were deliciousand we all enjoyed it.At 4:00 we said goodbay to everyone and came back home.

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