请高人帮我批雅思作文Task1~The bar chart indicates the travel distance by 5 different means of transport,namely by bicycle,motorbike,air,bus and rail,in the UK in 1900 and 2000.As can be seen from the graph,bus and rail are the most popular

请高人帮我批雅思作文Task1~The bar chart indicates the travel distance by 5 different means of transport,namely by bicycle,motorbike,air,bus and rail,in the UK in 1900 and 2000.As can be seen from the graph,bus and rail are the most popular
请高人帮我批雅思作文Task1~
The bar chart indicates the travel distance by 5 different means of transport,namely by bicycle,motorbike,air,bus and rail,in the UK in 1900 and 2000.
As can be seen from the graph,bus and rail are the most popular among travellers.Additionally,the total passenger kilometers through various means of transport in 2000 were nearly 15 billion kilometers more than that in 1900.
First of all,the distance traveller by British people using aeroplane,bus and rail has increased at different levels.The passenger kilometers rose by just fewer than 10,000,000 km,from 40 billon in 1900 to 49 billion in 2000.The distance traveller by air and bus went up by 5 billon kilometers each.What is worth mentioning is that the air travelling distance almost doubled in the past 100 years.
However,the passenger kilometers of bicycle and moterbike shows the contrasted trend.The distances travelled by people who rode bicycles and motorbikes were slightly shorter in 2000 than that in 1900.The figures are 5:4 billion passenger kilometers and 6:5 passenger kilometers respectively.
Therefore,we can easily conclude that British people prefer more advanced vehicles in their lives.And thanks to the development of all sorts of means of transport,people in UK travelled further over the span of a century.
(220 words)
当然是越仔细越好~感激不尽

请高人帮我批雅思作文Task1~The bar chart indicates the travel distance by 5 different means of transport,namely by bicycle,motorbike,air,bus and rail,in the UK in 1900 and 2000.As can be seen from the graph,bus and rail are the most popular
总体不错,词汇比较丰富,第三段用了increase,rise,go up
first of all连接不当
10,000,000 可以直接写10million啊
中间的还可以,不过觉得可以组织的更好些
觉得最后一段结尾不好,雅思小作文只是描述句子,你写thanks to.就不合适了,小作文不能写出现这些数据的原因是什么之类的,最后一段可以描述一下总体现状和趋势,比如数据未来几年还会增长啊之类的