帮我修改修改希望英语风采大赛的自我简介帮我修改修改吧!Self_ IntroductionBy WiskeyHello,every one!Do you know Whisky?Yeah,of course,I think every body knows the wine Whisky.So,please remember,I'm Wiskey.But I assure you,I am n

帮我修改修改希望英语风采大赛的自我简介帮我修改修改吧!Self_ IntroductionBy WiskeyHello,every one!Do you know Whisky?Yeah,of course,I think every body knows the wine Whisky.So,please remember,I'm Wiskey.But I assure you,I am n
帮我修改修改希望英语风采大赛的自我简介
帮我修改修改吧!
Self_ Introduction
By Wiskey
Hello,every one!Do you know Whisky?Yeah,of course,I think every body knows the wine Whisky.So,please remember,I'm Wiskey.But I assure you,I am not the Whisky what you are thinking about.W-I-S-K-E-Y,Wiskey!Now,let me tell you something about myself.
Above all the subjects,I love English best.Learning English is an enjoyment for me.I can still remember that last year an oral English Competition was held in Jiang Xi Province.
I haven’t taken part in an Oral English Competition before.So,I hesitated.I thought that maybe is a hard thing to do and I didn’t have enough confidence.But in fact,I really want to have a try.Mother noticed all of these.She can read me like an open book.She said to me,’dear,there is nothing to be afraid of.Everybody should have their first time.If you don’t want to have a try,how can you touch success?Take a step forward,and then you can succeed.Remember,compared with process,result is not so important.You need more and more opportunities to practice,from them you can improve not only your English level,but also your experience and courage.The enemy you’re facing are not others,but yourself.So,please believe yourself and have a try!’
Mother’s words really encouraged me.I made up my mind.At last,I won the third price.From then on,I didn’t hesitate any more,and I like to accept challengers.‘Challenging myself’ is my motto.Now,this motto brings me here again.I love this chance,and expect to get your precious advice or comments.
That’s all.
Thanks.

帮我修改修改希望英语风采大赛的自我简介帮我修改修改吧!Self_ IntroductionBy WiskeyHello,every one!Do you know Whisky?Yeah,of course,I think every body knows the wine Whisky.So,please remember,I'm Wiskey.But I assure you,I am n
1.I haven’t taken part in an Oral English Competition before.这句中应该用过去完成时吧,就是说用hadn't
2.I thought that maybe is a hard thing to do and I didn’t have enough confidence.在这里,maybe后面加的应该是一个完整句子,它本身不作主语,在maybe后面加个this吧.
3.You need more and more opportunities to practice,from them you can improve not only your English level,but also your experience and courage.这里的第一个逗号后由于没有连词,所以是非限定性定语从句,from them应该改为from which,要不在from前面加上and.还有这里的level可省去,不然显得有多余.
4.Remember,compared with process,result is not so important.如果是靠语感的话,应该在with后面加上定冠词the,要注意这些细节性的问题.
5.From then on,I didn’t hesitate any more,and I like to accept challengers.后面的like,这里忘记了是用过去式吧.
6.The enemy you’re facing are not others,but yourself.这里是用the others.
基本上还可以,如果初中水平的话,确实不错,继续努力吧,不明白就发信息给我吧

I can still remember that last year an oral English Competition was held in Jiang Xi Province
不知道你的意思是什么，如果是要说对英语有兴趣，可以说I have attended one oral English competition....
I (haven't可改为n...

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I can still remember that last year an oral English Competition was held in Jiang Xi Province
不知道你的意思是什么，如果是要说对英语有兴趣，可以说I have attended one oral English competition....
I (haven't可改为never) taken part in an Oral English Competition before.I thought that maybe (可改为its' a hard thing for me)
(可改为If you never try, how can you prove yourself?)
作为一个初二学生，你能些到这种水平的文章实属不易，文章其他部分虽仍有些许不妥之处，但却也处处显得活泼，充满生命力，如果全都改成大人的话，反倒不太合适，我上面说的仅供参考，希望你能成功！英语水平更近一步！

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