用来 英语课前演讲 的 英语笑话 ”20-30”字 （本人七年级水平）快!

用来 英语课前演讲 的 英语笑话 ”20-30”字 （本人七年级水平）快!
用来 英语课前演讲 的 英语笑话 ”20-30”字 （本人七年级水平）快!

用来 英语课前演讲 的 英语笑话 ”20-30”字 （本人七年级水平）快!
帮你找了几个,你看哪个简单,好笑,就用哪个～
A brunette（深色的）,a redhead,and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police
officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag,and the brunette says,"meow",the cop says,"oh,its only a cat".
He kicks the second bag,and the redhead says,"woof,woof".The cop says,"its only a dog".
He kicks the third bag,and the blonde says,"potato".
一个棕发女郎,一个红发女郎,一个金发女郎正在抢劫一家超市此时警察走进了商店.
这三个女人决定隐藏在三个土豆麻袋.
警察踢第一袋,棕发女郎说,“喵喵”,警察说,“噢,它只是一只猫”.
他踢了踢第二包,红发女郎说,“汪,汪”.警察说,“它只是一只狗”.
他踢了踢第三个袋子,金发女郎说,“土豆”.
A drunk man phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car."They've stolen the dashboard,the steering wheel,even the brake pedal!" he cried out.
However,before the police investigation could start,the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup,"I got in the back seat by mistake."
一个醉汉打电话给警察局,报告小偷光顾了他的车,“他们偷走了仪表盘、方向盘,甚至连刹车脚板都偷走了.”
然而在警察还没有开始调查时,电话又一次响了起来,“没事了”,醉汉打着嗝说,“我不小心坐到了后座上.”
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg.He asks the owner the significance of the strings."Well,this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch you fool!" screeches the parrot.
有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉.在那里,他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住,右腿则被绿线系住.对此他感到不解,于是他问该店的老板,老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练.如果拉红线,它就讲法语,拉绿线,它则讲德语.”
这个好奇的人接着问,“要是我两条线都拉,会怎么样呢?”
“我就会掉下来了,你这个傻瓜!”鹦鹉尖叫着说.
A dog owner claimed that his pet,when given money,would go to the news stall to buy a paper.His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted（小跑） off,but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars."
"Well,that explains it.When you give him five dollars,he goes to a movie."
一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱,它便会到报亭买份报纸来.他的朋友坚持要来做个演示,并给了狗一些钱.狗一溜小跑着去了.但一个小时过去了,仍不见它带报纸回来.
“你给了它多少钱?”狗的主人问.
“五元.”
“这就是了.你给它五元钱时,它就去看电影.”

Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？
汤姆：每个月都有啊！
Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.
男孩：...

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Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？
汤姆：每个月都有啊！
Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.
男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？
女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。
Doctor: Y
our cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass
filled with
alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"
The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。
老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么？”
学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。

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