高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）,并评一下分,Left-behind Children in the CountrysideWith the developed of society,a number of farmers have an opportunity to work in big as well as prosperous cities to earn more money for their povert

高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）,并评一下分,Left-behind Children in the CountrysideWith the developed of society,a number of farmers have an opportunity to work in big as well as prosperous cities to earn more money for their povert
高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）,并评一下分,
Left-behind Children in the Countryside
With the developed of society,a number of farmers have an opportunity to work in big as well as prosperous cities to earn more money for their poverty families.As a result,it increasingly becomes very popular phenomenon that left-behind children in the countryside.
Many disadvantage aspects have been found in these children who are left in their homes.To begin with ,it is education problem.Just as an old saying that parents are the first teacher in their children.Good habit of writing homework and diligent manners would have been kept on children who are still young unless their parents have taken good care of.What’s more,in view of left-behind children’s parents work out of countryside for long term,these children will feel lonelier along with lack of a lot of love from their parents than children who are in the same ages.Including cause psychology diseases as long as they are short of communication with their parents .Besides,without parents who work in big urban cook delicious food,left-behind children who are growing bodies would face the problem of deficient nutrition.
This could be a viable option to assist the issue that government could help the countryside to develop facilities and increase welfares to meet the supplies of farmers.Together with our children will be in good circumstances on both mind and body in sooner or later.

高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）,并评一下分,Left-behind Children in the CountrysideWith the developed of society,a number of farmers have an opportunity to work in big as well as prosperous cities to earn more money for their povert
With the developING society, a number of farmers have an opportunity to work in big as well as prosperous cities to earn more money for their poverty families. As a result, it increasingly becomes A very popular phenomenon THAT children WAS LEFT in the countryside.
Many disadvantageS have been found in these children who are left AT their homes. To begin with , it is education problem. Just as an old saying GOES that parents are the first teacher OF their children. Good habit of writing homework and diligent manners would have been kept on children who are still young unless their parents have taken good care of. What’s more, in view of left-behind children’s parents work out of countryside for long term, these children will feel MORE LONELY along with LESS love from their parents than children who are in the same ages.IT MAY cause psychology diseases as long as short of communication with their parents .Besides, without parents cookING delicious food, left-behind children who are growing bodies would face the problem of deficient nutrition.
This could be a viable option to assist the issue that government could help the countryside to develop facilities and increase welfares to meet the supplies of farmers. Together with(不能加句子吧) our children will be in good circumstances on both mind and body in(去掉) sooner or later.改了一些,仅供参考.15分得话,我会给11分~~